我想,拾脚印的情节恐怕很复杂,超出众所周知。像我,如果可能,我要连你的脚印一并收拾妥当。如果捡脚印只是一个人最末一次余兴,或有许多人自动放弃;如果事属必要,或将出现一种行业,一家代捡脚印的公司。至于我,我要捡回来的不只是脚印。那些歌,在我们唱歌的地方,四处

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问题     我想,拾脚印的情节恐怕很复杂,超出众所周知。像我,如果可能,我要连你的脚印一并收拾妥当。如果捡脚印只是一个人最末一次余兴,或有许多人自动放弃;如果事属必要,或将出现一种行业,一家代捡脚印的公司。至于我,我要捡回来的不只是脚印。那些歌,在我们唱歌的地方,四处都有抛掷的音符,歌声冻在原处,等我去吹一口气,再响起来。那些泪,在我流过泪的地方,热泪化为铁浆,倒流人腔,凝成铁心钢肠,旧地重临,钢铁还原成浆还原成泪,老泪如陈年旧酿。人散落,泪散落,歌声散落,脚印散落,我一一仔细收拾,如同向夜光杯中仔细斟满葡萄美酒。

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答案 I’m afraid that collecting footprints is much more complicated than we generally thought. As for me, if possible, I would collect yours along with mine and keep them well and safe. If collecting footprints is one’s very last sideshow in life, many may choose to skip it. If it is really necessary, a company collecting footprints for customers may come into existence, followed by a brand-new industry. But for me, footprints are not the only thing I’d like to collect. I’d like to collect our singing notes frozen and scattered around the old place where we used to sing together. They are silently waiting for me to give a puff to ring again. I’d like to collect the warm tears I shed at the old place where they turned into molten iron, flowed back into my body, and hardened my heart. They are waiting for me to turn them back into warm tears as mellow as old wine. I’d like to collect all the people, tears, songs, and footprints lost in memories with such care as if filling a luminous wine glass with the most luscious wine.

解析     “自动放弃”并不是机械性的,而是人为的选择放弃,故使用choose to;按照逻辑来看,“行业”和“公司”出现的顺序应该是先有一家公司然后产生了新的行业,因此翻译时将两部分的顺序颠倒,后使用非谓语动词followed by引出伴随状语,即“行业出现”这一结果。
    形式较松散的句式,在翻译时首先需要理清逻辑,这段话按照逻辑可以划分为三部分,第一部分指出是“那些歌”,结合第四句可知,这里指的是“我要捡回来的那些歌”,第二部分是“在我们唱歌的地方,四处都有抛掷的音符,歌声冻在原处”,这部分的线索是“地方”,那是“我们唱歌的地方”,是“音符被抛掷的地方”,是“歌声冻住的地方”;“我们唱歌的地方”是总述,指出了因为曾经在那里唱过歌,所以才有音符和歌声散落在那里,翻译时可根据这一逻辑将之译为从句,层次比较清晰。其余内容是第三部分,这部分是需要“我”去做的事,主语是第二部分提到的“音符”和“歌声”。
    本句与上文结构相似,可依据表意断句。“那些泪”指“我要捡回来那些泪”;“在我流过泪的地方,热泪化为铁浆,倒流入腔,凝成铁心钢肠”中“在我流过泪的地方”发生的事,可以用where引导后置定语,将这一系列的动作引出来,联系更紧密,随后用They are waiting for引出后文,与上句在结构上形成并列。
    “我一一仔细收拾”的宾语其实是前边散落的“人、泪、歌声和脚印”,翻译时先将主句译出,之后译出“人散落,泪散落,歌声散落,脚印散落”,做collect的宾语,语言更清晰简洁;“如同”指代捡拾这些回忆的仔细程度就和向夜光杯中斟美酒的小心程度一样,即强调的是“仔细的程度”,因此使用“with such care as if…”。
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