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The problem is that in the last generation or so we yet come to assume that women should be able, and should want, to do everyth
The problem is that in the last generation or so we yet come to assume that women should be able, and should want, to do everyth
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2013-05-20
95
问题
The problem is that in the last generation or so we yet come to assume that women should be able, and should want, to do everything that by tradition men have done at the same time as pretty well everything that by tradition women have done. And it’s just not possible. Indeed since adopting a male agenda in life is arguably only another form of submission, quite a number of highly educated and economically privileged women are now opting to take career breaks so as to be at home with their children for longer than that insulting 18 weeks.
The most welcome trend in parenting is that men are participating more and more. Even that is not free of conflict, though. Intellectually, women want men to be equal parents and do their share. But there’s often a contradictory emotional sub-text because children are the last bastion of distaff power in the family. "I want him to help me but this is my territory and being better at it is one of the few things I’ve got as a female." In truth, although they haven’t had generations of practice, there’s no reason why men can’t rear children as well as women. Men left to cope after bereavement or divorce, as well as some who take on the role of principal carer within a partnership, are already doing it.
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答案
问题是,在过去的二、三十年里我们一直认定,妇女应当能够,而且想要,做到男人传统上做的一切,同时还要和女人传统上做的一切做得同样好。而这根本是不可能的。事实上,由于走男人的人生道路可以说是另一种形式的男尊女卑,许多受过高等教育以及经济地位优越的妇女都情愿有一段职业间歇,这样和孩子一起呆在家里的时间就能长一些,而不仅是那可怜的18周产假。 在养育孩子方面,出现了一个可喜的趋势——男人参与得越来越多。不过即使这样也并非毫无冲突。理智上女人希望男人也同样尽到养育的职责。但感情上常常又会有自相矛盾的潜台词,因为儿女是家庭中女性权力最后一座堡垒。“我希望他来帮我,可这是我的‘地盘’,在养育孩子方面比他强是我作为女性的少数几项优势之一。”说实话,虽然他们没有代代相传养育儿女,但不能因此就说男人不如女人会养育孩子。丧偶或离婚后独立支撑局面的男人以及伴侣关系中担任主要照料人的那些男人已经在这样做了。
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