首页
外语
计算机
考研
公务员
职业资格
财经
工程
司法
医学
专升本
自考
实用职业技能
登录
外语
Back in 1964, in his book Games People Play, psychiatrist Eric Berne described a pattern of conversation he called "Why Don’t Yo
Back in 1964, in his book Games People Play, psychiatrist Eric Berne described a pattern of conversation he called "Why Don’t Yo
admin
2021-01-08
75
问题
Back in 1964, in his book Games People Play, psychiatrist Eric Berne described a pattern of conversation he called "Why Don’t You—Yes But", which remains one of the most irritating aspects of everyday social life. The person adopting the strategy is usually a chronic complainer. Something is terrible about their relationship, job, or other situation, and they moan about it ceaselessly, but find some excuse to dismiss any solution that’s proposed. The reason, of course, is that on some level they don’t want a solution; they want to be validated in their position that the world is out to get them. If they can "win" the game—dismissing every suggestion until their interlocutor (对话者) gives up in annoyance—they get to feel pleasurably righteous (正当的) in their resentments and excused from any obligation to change.
Part of the trouble here is the so-called responsibility/fault fallacy (谬误). When you’re feeling hard done by—taken for granted by your partner, say, or obliged to work for a half-witted boss—it’s easy to become attached to the position that it’s not your job to address the matter, and that doing so would be an admission of fault. But there’s a confusion here. For example, if I were to discover a newborn at my front door, it wouldn’t be my fault, but it most certainly would be my responsibility. There would be choices to make, and no possibility of avoiding them, since trying to ignore the matter would be a choice. The point is that what goes for the baby on the doorstep is true in all cases: even if the other person is 100% in the wrong, there’s nothing to be gained, long-term, from using this as a justification to evade responsibility.
Should you find yourself on the receiving end of this kind of complaining, there’s an ingenious way to shut it down—which is to agree with it, ardently. Psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb describes this as "over-validation". For one thing, you’ll be spared further moaning, since the other person’s motivation was to confirm her beliefs, and now you’re confirming them. But for another, as Gottlieb notes, people confronted with over-validation often hear their complaints afresh and start arguing back. The notion that they’re utterly powerless suddenly seems unrealistic—not to mention rather annoying—so they’re prompted instead to generate ideas about how they might change things.
"And then, sometimes, something magical might happen," Gottlieb writes. The other person "might realise she’s not as trapped as you are saying she is, or as she feels." Which illustrates the irony of the responsibility/fault fallacy: evading responsibility feels comfortable, but turns out to be a prison; whereas assuming responsibility feels unpleasant, but ends up being freeing.
How can one stop being a chronic complainer according to the author?
选项
A、Analysing the so-called responsibility/fault fallacy.
B、Avoiding hazardous traps in everyday social life.
C、Assuming responsibility to free oneself.
D、Awaiting something magical to happen.
答案
C
解析
推理判断题。定句提到,逃避责任感觉很舒服,但结果却是一座监狱;而承担责任会让人不愉快,但最终会得到解脱。换言之,应承担责任解放自己,故答案为C)。
转载请注明原文地址:https://kaotiyun.com/show/3aP7777K
0
大学英语六级
相关试题推荐
A、Itconnectedheavywebusewithhighbloodpressure.B、Itinvolved134youngpeoplewithhealthproblems.C、Itshowedthatboy
A、Theyloseinterestinwhatwearesaying.B、Theyliketoleadtheconversation.C、Theydonotunderstandwhatwesay.D、Itmay
A、Thesoundofwavesistoonoisy.B、Theexperimentmaypollutethewater.C、Thesoundofwavesmayharmseaanimals.D、Thesea
Naturally,inagroupofanimalsasdiverseasthesnakes,andwithsomanyvariedenemies,therearenumerousdefensivereactio
Carmakershavelongusedsextoselltheirproducts.Recently,however,bothBMWandRenaulthavebasedtheirlatestEuropeanm
Sevenyearsago,whenIwasvisitingGermany,Imetwithanofficialwhoexplainedtomethatthecountryhadaperfectsolution
Sevenyearsago,whenIwasvisitingGermany,Imetwithanofficialwhoexplainedtomethatthecountryhadaperfectsolution
Oncetheydecidedtohavechildren,MiShelandCarlMeissnertackledthenextbigissue:Shouldtheytrytohaveagirl?Itwas
Oncetheydecidedtohavechildren,MiShelandCarlMeissnertackledthenextbigissue:Shouldtheytrytohaveagirl?Itwas
A、Theyprefercooltemperatures.B、Theycansurviveextremeconditions.C、Theyarevulnerabletoradiation.D、Theyhaveaverys
随机试题
A.麻黄素B.普鲁卡因C.利多卡因D.肾上腺素E.丁卡因加入局麻药注射液中,可以延缓局麻药的吸收,减少吸收中毒的可能性,同时又可延长局麻药作用时间的是
A.吸血昆虫B.空气、飞沫C.饲料、水D.鼠E.伤口牛流行热的主要传播媒介是
城镇土地使用税的特点包括()。
依据《工伤保险条例》规定,享有工伤保险权利的主体是()
H股的发行方式是“公开发行”加“国际配售”。( )
根据营业税法律制度的规定,下列应税行为中,不属于增值税征收范围的是()。
新闻出版署批准设立互联网出版机构的申请后,申请者应该()。
假设检验是解决问题的首要环节。()
结合材料回答问题材料1“从许多方面来说,现在我们还是把毛泽东同志已经提出、但是没有做的事情做起来,把他反对错了的改正过来,把他没有做好的事情做好。今后相当长的时期,还是做这件事。当然,我们也有发展,而且还要继续发展。”这是邓小平1980年10月25日同
FarewellSpeech1."Specialneeds"Commonlydefinedbywhatachildcan’tdoBymilestonesunmetBy【T1】______【T1】______Byexper
最新回复
(
0
)