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医学
Most of us find the forgetting easier, but maybe we should work on the forgiving part. "Holding on to hurts and nursing grudges
Most of us find the forgetting easier, but maybe we should work on the forgiving part. "Holding on to hurts and nursing grudges
admin
2013-11-30
95
问题
Most of us find the forgetting easier, but maybe we should work on the forgiving part. "Holding on to hurts and nursing grudges wear you down physically and emotionally," says Stanford University psychologist Fred Luskin, author of Forgive for Good. " Forgiving someone can be a powerful antidote. "
In a recent study, Charlotte, assistant/associate professor of psychology at Hope College in Holland, Michigan, and this colleague asked 71 volunteers to remember a past hurt. Tests recorded the highest blood pressure, heart rate and muscle tension—the same responses that occur when people are angry. Research has linked anger and heart disease. When the volunteers were asked to imagine empathizing, even forgiving those who had wronged them, they remained calm by comparison.
What’ s more, forgiveness can be learned, insists Luskin, director of the Stanford Forgiveness Project. "We teach people to rewrite their story in their minds, to change from victim to hero. If the hurt is from a spouse’ s infidelity, we might encourage them to think of themselves not only as a person who was cheated on, but as the person who tried to keep the marriage together. "
Two years ago, Luskin tested his method on 5 Northern Irish women whose sons had been murdered. After undergoing a week of forgiveness training, the women’ s sense of hurt, measured using psychological tests, had fallen by more than half. They were also much less likely to feel depressed and angry. " Forgiving isn’ t about forgetting what happened," says Luskin. " It is about breaking free of the person who wronged us. "
The early signs that forgiving improves overall health are promising; a survey of 1423 adults by the University of Michigan’ s Institute for Social Research in 2001 found that people who had forgiven someone in their past also reported being in better health than those who hadn’ t.
However, while 75% said they were sure God had forgiven them for past mistakes, only 52% had been able to find it in their hearts to forgive others. Forgiveness, it seems, is still divine.
According to Luskin, if one’ s husband is not loyal to her, she’ d better______.
选项
A、seek help from a therapist
B、try to keep the marriage together
C、clean forget what has happened
D、take it seriously
答案
B
解析
第三段指出we encourage them to think as the person who tried to keep the marriage together,即不把自己当成受害者,而以一个维持婚姻的人的角度来看待问题。选项B正确。
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