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  3. On the heels of its recent decision to criminalize consumers who rip songs from albums they have purchased to their computers (o

On the heels of its recent decision to criminalize consumers who rip songs from albums they have purchased to their computers (o

admin2022-06-24  87
问题     On the heels of its recent decision to criminalize consumers who rip songs from albums they have purchased to their computers (or iPods), the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) has now gone one step further and declared that "remembering songs" using your brain is criminal copyright infringement. "The brain is a recording device, " explained RIAA president Cary Sherman. "The act of listening is an unauthorized act of copying music to that recording device, and the act of recalling or remembering a song is unauthorized playback. "
    The RIAA also said it would begin sending letters to tens of millions of consumers thought to be illegally remembering songs, threatening them with lawsuits if they do not settle with the RIAA by paying monetary damages.
    In order to avoid engaging in unauthorized copyright infringement, consumers will now be required to immediately forget everything they have just heard—a skill already mastered by the former U. S. President George Bush. To aid in these memory wiping efforts, the RIAA is teaming up with Big Pharma to include free psychotropic prescription drugs with the purchase of new music albums. Consumers are advised to swallow the pills before listening to the music. The pills block normal cognitive function, allowing consumers to enjoy the music in a more detached state without the risk of accidentally remembering any songs (and thereby violating copyright law).
    Consumers caught humming their favorite songs will be charged with a more serious crime: The public performance of a copyrighted song, for which the fines can reach over $250,000 per incident. "Humming, singing and whistling songs will not be tolerated, " said Sherman.
    Consumers attempting to circumvent the RIAA’s new memory-wiping technology by actually remembering songs will be charged with felony crimes under provisions of the Digital Millennium
    Copyright Act. The Act, passed in 1998, makes it a felony crime to circumvent copyright protection technologies. The RIAA’s position is that consumers who actually use their brains while listening to music are violating the DMCA.
    With this decision, the RIAA now considers approximately 72％ of the adult U. S. population to be criminals. Putting them all in prison for copyright infringement would cost US taxpayers an estimated $683 billion per year—an amount that would have to be shouldered by the remaining 28％ who are not imprisoned. The RIAA believes it could cover the $683 billion tab through royalties on music sales. The problem with that—the 28％ remaining adults not in prison do not buy music albums. That means album sales would plummet to nearly zero, and the US government (which is already deep in debt) would have to borrow money to pay for all the prisons.
    When asked whether he really wants 72％ of the US population to be imprisoned for ripping music CDs to their own brains, Sherman shot back, "You don’t support criminal behavior, do you? Every person who illegally remembers a song is a criminal. We can’t have criminals running free on the streets of America. It’s an issue of national security. "
What category does this essay fall into?
选项 A、News report.
B、Satire.
C、Review.
D、Humour.
答案A
解析 B项“讽刺”，从文章中并未看出讽刺的意味，故错误；C项“评论”，作者只是在叙述并未做任何评论，故错误；D项“幽默”明显错误；A项“新闻报道”，纵览全文可以看出，所以答案为A。
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