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While everyone is different, there arc a few common themes that surface for those with a history of abuse. For instance, it’s un
While everyone is different, there arc a few common themes that surface for those with a history of abuse. For instance, it’s un
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2016-08-02
36
问题
While everyone is different, there arc a few common themes that surface for those with a history of abuse. For instance, it’s unlikely that one who suffered abuse was taught much about boundaries. Yet good boundaries are inherent in any healthy relationship. This comes up in a variety of ways. For example, many couples have learned to be very careful not to say hurtful things to their partner during a fight; they’ve learned not to be flirtatious with others if they are in an exclusive relationship. ’ These may seem like small concerns, but they actively maintain safety and respect, both for each other and for the integrity of the relationship.
People without abuse history typically recognize when another person(man or woman)is "coming onto" them inappropriately, and they have no trouble telling the "intruder," so to speak, to back off. With abuse history, especially if the abuse was chronic, we don’t even recognize inappropriate behavior, because such behavior was "normalized" during one’s childhood. The abuse survivor then is less likely to take steps to protect oneself, and is left with an array of feelings, including frustration, disappointment, confusion, anger, and resignation. How different it becomes when the survivor learns to recognize inappropriate behavior for what it is, use appropriate boundaries, move on, and then be able to open to what we do want, a person who is respectful, loving, honest, and so on. "As children, when our parents directly contradict our inner voice, our intuitive knowing, we’ll trust them and discount our own truth. As adults, we have to learn to trust our intuition all over again. "
Another unfortunate, but repairable, side effect of sexual abuse is that we have often lost trust in our intuition. If our intuition told us that something that happened wasn’t right, hut all the adults in our family said, "I don’t see any problem here", or "You’re lying! Shame on you!" we get confused. As children we need to trust our parents for our basic survival. When our parents say and do things that directly contradict our inner voice, our intuitive knowing, we’ll trust mom or dad, and discount ourselves. For children, it’s safer this way. But as adults, it takes retraining to trust our intuition again. This is a gradual process, but it can be done. Once we trust our inner knowing more fully, we become confident, more empowered, and more able to receive what is beneficial to us.
Love, trust, intimacy, and ease are not only possible; they are our birthright. We mustn’t allow someone else’s violation of us to impede our right to love and be loved. Thankfully, we don’t have to.
By citing the example of many couples, the author intends to show that ______.
选项
A、good boundaries are small concerns rather than big deals
B、it’s silly for one to say hurtful things to his or her partner
C、one should never be flirtatious with unfamiliar people
D、there are things prohibited in a healthy relationship
答案
D
解析
根据第一段中的“Yet good boundaries are inherent in any healthy relationship”,D应为答案。
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0
考研英语一
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