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  3. How to Make a Good Impression Research shows that we start to make up our minds about people within seven seconds of meeting

How to Make a Good Impression Research shows that we start to make up our minds about people within seven seconds of meeting

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问题                How to Make a Good Impression
    Research shows that we start to make up our minds about people within seven seconds of meeting them. Much of the communication is unspoken. Consciously or unconsciously, we show our true feelings with our eyes, faces, bodies and attitudes. At the same time, we cause in each other a chain of emotional reactions, ranging from comfort to fear.
    Think about some of your most memorable meetings: an introduction to your future spouse, a job interview, or an encounter with a stranger. Focus on the first seven seconds. What did you feel and think? How did you "read" the other person, and how do you think he read you?
    You are the message. For 25 years I’ ve worked with thousands of business and political leaders, show business personalities, and other men and women who want to be successful. I’ ve helped them make persuasive presentations, answer unfriendly questions, communicate more effectively. The secret of that training has always been that you(the whole you)are the message.
    If you use your good qualities, other people will want to be with you and cooperate with you. The personal qualities include: physical appearance, energy, rate of speech, pitch and tone of voice, gestures, expressiveness of eyes, and the ability to hold the interest of others. Another person will form an impression about you based on all of these.
    Now recall three times in your life when you know you made a good impression. What made you successful ? I’ m sure of this: you were committed to what you were talking about, and you were so absorbed in the moment that you lost all self-consciousness.
    Be yourself. Many how-to books advise you to stride into a room and show your personality to im press. They instruct you to greet others with "power handshakes". They tell you to fix your eyes on the other person. If you follow all this advice, you’ 11 drive everyone crazy--including yourself.
    The trick is to be consistently yon, at your best. The most effective people never change character from one situation to another. They’ re the same whether they’ re having an intimate conversation, ad dressing their garden club or being interviewed for a job. They communicate with their whole being. The tones of their voices and their gestures completely go with their words.
    Public speakers, however, often send confusing signals to their audience.  My favorite is the kind who say, "Ladies and gentlemen, I’ m very happy to be here"  while looking at their shoes. They don’t look happy. They look angry, frightening or depressed.
    The audience will always go with what they see over what they hear. They think, "He’ s telling me he’ s happy, but he’ s not. He’ s not being honest."
    Use your eyes. Whether you’ re talking to one person or one hundred, always remember to look at them. Some people start to say something while looking right at you, but, three words into the sentence, they break eye contact and look out the window.
    As you enter a room, move your eyes comfortably, then look directly at those in the room and smile. This demonstrates that you are at ease. Some people think entering a room full of people is like going into a lion’ s cage. I disagree. If I did agree, however, I sure wouldn’ t look at my feet, and I wouldn’ t look at the ceiling. I’d keep eye on the lion!
    Smiling is important. The best type of smile and eye contact is gentle and comfortable, not forced.
    Listen before you leap. My father taught me the idea of "absorbing" other people before showing myself. He said, "Boy, you can’t learn anything when you’re talking."
    When you attend a meeting, a party or an interview, don’ t immediately start throwing out your opinions. Stop for a second. Absorb what’ s going on. What’ s the mood of the others--are they down, up, happy, expectant? Are they eager to learn from you, or do they show resistance7 If you can sense what’ s happening with others, you will be better able to reach them.
    Focus your energy. Jack Benny taught me another important lesson. Late in his career, the great comedian was a guest on "The Mike Douglas Show" where I was executive producer.
    When I met Benny, I found a little old man in a corner of the sofa. I thought, My gosh, he’ s going to pass away right during the show ! And the it was air time. I held my breath. The band hit "love in Bloom", his theme song. Benny took a breath, and energy seemed to enter his body. He straightened up, winked at me, smiled and , as the doors opened for his entrance, broke into his famous arm-swinging stride and walked on stage. The "real" Jack Benny had suddenly appeared right before our eyes. He had been saving his energy for the performance.
    How do you get your energy up? Before I meet someone, I usually sit quietly and collect my thoughts. I breathe deeply. I think about the goals of the meeting      mine and the other person’ s. Sometimes I walk around for a few minutes , ’to get my heart pumping. Once I go through that doorway, I no longer think about myself. I focus on the other person and try to find things to like about him.
    Properly collected energy comes across when we sincerely believe something. When people with energy speak, they are involved with their audience and their message. You may disagree with them, but you can’t question their belief.
    It’ s important to have an air of certainty. We often see people start to speak up and then muffle their voices with their hands. Nobody is going to follow a tentative person. It’ s okay to be calm, cautious and deliberate, but not tentative.
    Lighten up. I was once in a staff meeting with one of the most powerful chairmen in the entertainment industry--a much feared tyrant. He became very angry over some minor problems, scolding each person, seeming to enjoy his ability to intimidate. When he got to me, he shouted," And you, Ailes, what are you doing?"
    I said, "Do you mean now, this evening or for the rest of my life?" There was a moment of silence. The others were wide-eyed. Then the chairman threw back his head and roared with laughter. The others laughed too. Humor broke the tension of a very uncomfortable scene.
    If I had to summarized in two words the advice I give to many of my clients, it would be "lighten up"! You can always spot people who take themselves too seriously. Usually they are either brooding or talking a great deal about themselves.
    Take a good hard look at yourself. Do you say "I" too often? Are you usually focused on your own problems? Do you complain frequently? If you answered yes to even one of these questions, you need to lighten up.
    To make others comfortable, you have to appear comfortable yourself. Don’ t make any dramatic changes in your personality. Just be yourself, at your best. The fact is, you already have the magic of making a good impression within you, because nobody can be you as well as you can.
If you ______, you need to" lighten up"
选项
答案focus on yourself
解析 从“light up”部分的第四段可以看出，如果一个人过分关注自身的问题，经常抱怨等，就需要“lighten up”，显然“focus on yourself”符合题意。
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