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  3. We’ve all had to start conversations that we dreaded having — everything from asking for a raise to asking for a divorce to aski

We’ve all had to start conversations that we dreaded having — everything from asking for a raise to asking for a divorce to aski

admin2011-02-08  58
问题     We’ve all had to start conversations that we dreaded having — everything from asking for a raise to asking for a divorce to asking for help with the laundry. These strategies help the conversation go more smoothly.
    【61】Let’s say you need to call a friend whom you haven’t seen in a few years to ask for a favor. Don’t chat and chat, then casually mention the favor at the end. You’re not going to fool him about why you called. It’s better to say something like, "It’s so great to talk to you. I really wantto catch up and hear everything that’s been going on for the last few years, but first, I have to tell you the reason I called. " Otherwise, the person on the other end tends to feel wary and distracted.
    【62】If you have to talk about some sort of dishonesty or bad service, work yourself into a mild state of mind. Explain the situation in a straightforward way. Joke around. Show that you’re a reasonable person.
    This is obvious, but picks your moment. Look for a moment of calm, lack of interruption, and physical comfort. 【63】Also, if the conversation will be particularly painful to the other person, choose circumstances that are the most comfortable for him or her, not for you. Sometimes, you should wait; you might get a better result.
    Think about why the subject is difficult for you. Do you hate to talk about money? Are you a-fraid of someone? Are you worried, about damaging a relationship? One of the most helpful of the commandments is "Identify the problem". 【64】If you examine why you’re dreading a particular conversation, you might be able to deal with it in a different way.
    Write a note instead of having a conversation. When writing, you can pick your words exactly , and by communicating that way, you allow the other person to react privately, with time for reflection. Or you can write a note alerting the person to the fact that a painful conversation is necessary.
    It sounds simplistic, but if you know you’re going to broach a difficult subject on a particular day, get plenty of sleep and exercise in the period before. Feeling energetic, well-rested, and calm in body will put you in better spirits.
    Obviously, the tips aren’t universally applicable. You wouldn’t take notes when confronting your teenager and you wouldn’t bring your spouse to your performance review. 【65】But by thinking constructively about how to broach a difficult subject, you might make it less painful and more productive , for everyone.
【64】
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答案如果你弄清楚了为何害怕某种对话，你也许能采取另一种方式来应对。
解析 翻译重点在于if引导的从句，以及“be able to”能做某事和“deal with”应付，处理的翻译和理解。先翻译if状语从句，以及从句中why引导的宾语从句，然后再翻译主句。
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