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Marriage is big lately; actually it’s unmarriage that seems to be capturing our attention. From the award-winning American Beaut
Marriage is big lately; actually it’s unmarriage that seems to be capturing our attention. From the award-winning American Beaut
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2014-04-23
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问题
Marriage is big lately; actually it’s unmarriage that seems to be capturing our attention. From the award-winning American Beauty to the Bruce Willis-Michelle Pfeiffer movie, The Story of Us, the institution of marriage is being turned inside out, and it’s not a pretty sight. To judge by these films, modern marriage involves a lot of broken crockery and busted expectations. While many current Hollywood depictions of marriage may be overly pessimistic, statistics in America are alarming: each year half as many Americans get divorced as marry.
Marriage counselors say couples often choose to separate as a last-ditch effort to change their relationship, and possibly themselves, "Many trial separations don’t work because they’re not ’authentic’. They’re just one person’s way of getting out of the relationship," says Harriet Lerner, author of the book The Dance of Anger. But a separation can give couples time to calm down, renegotiate the rules of the relationship and gain some needed distance.
For a separation to work, it needs to be well defined. Constance Ahrons, director of the Marriage and Family Therapy Training program at the University of Southern California, says "structured separations" tend to be the most productive. Couples facing separation do best if they establish some basic ground rules first. They should mutually agree on the length of the separation—Ahrons says three to six months is average—and both must continue to work on their own problems during that time, either with or without a counselor.
Couples should agree not to see lawyers during their separation. Lawyers have a way of moving marriage toward divorce. During their period of trial separation couples should not pursue each other at all, either to fight or to reconcile, but should agree in advance on what kind of contact they will have. Separated couples can agree to speak on the phone for a prearranged period, for instance, or meet once a week. Some therapists advise their clients to agree not to talk to each other about their relationship during these encounters and to use the time apart to reflect on their own lives and see what they can change about themselves. If there are children involved, Ahrons says, both parties need to agree on all the ground rules having to do with kids. Parents should also be aware that repeated separations and reconciliations are difficult and confusing for children.
Ahrons says a separation, while painful, can help keep the anger down and give a couple time to think. If both are unsure about the future of the marriage, it can provide a time-out, during which they can see what life would be like without the other. "Sometimes," Ahrons says, "a separation can lead back into marriage. Sometimes it leads to divorce. But if couples are able to clarify things, it will improve their marriage—or, make their divorce better. "
We can infer from the passage that______.
选项
A、separation can both cause pain for the couple and help keep the anger down
B、separation is helpful for the couple to be clear about their relationship
C、no one wants to try separation before he or she gets divorced according to the author
D、modern marriage usually involves lots of quarrels and reconciliation
答案
B
解析
问题问我们可以从文章中推断出什么。根据文章最后一段的内容,亚鲁斯认为,分居固然痛苦,但能化解矛盾,给夫妻双方一段思考的时间。如果双方在婚姻方面都无法把握未来,分居可以为他们提供一段间歇期,使他们弄清没有对方的生活会是个什么样子。“有时,”亚鲁斯说,“分居可以使破镜重圆,有时也会导致离婚。不过,只要双方能借此澄清一些问题,分居无疑将会提高他们的婚姻质量,或者使他们的离婚变得更加理智。”因此,本题的正确答案应是B。
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