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Earn Your Parent’s Trust
    Do you feel suffocated by your parents’ overly strict demands? Do you find yourself at home, left out from your friends because your parents have so many rules? One of the hardest things to do as a parent is to trust kids with their independence because there’s no one-size-fits-all formula that works for every child. Instead, teenagers have to earn their parents’ trust and prove that they can enjoy independence without abusing the privilege. Today’s lecture will teach you how to earn your parents’ trust.
    [1]First, make a list of what specific privileges you’d like from your parents. Part of the reason your parents don’t want to let you do anything they feel even mildly uncomfortable with may be that [2]they’re afraid if they let you do one thing, you may use that as an excuse to ask for other privileges. [3]You can minimize this by coming up with a conclusive list of a reasonable number of privileges. For example, depending on your age, your list may include: curfew extended to 11 p.m. on Friday nights, and hanging out after school is OK if home by dinner time (6:30 p.m.), etc.
    Don’t ask for too many privileges at once, or you risk angering your parents and getting none. [4]Remember that the process of earning your parents’ trust is a long-term project. When you’ve shown your parents that you can handle a few privileges, you can gradually increase your freedom later on and ask for more.
    [5]Second, start the conversation from an empathetic standpoint. [6]Acknowledge that your parents have reasonable fears about letting you do your own thing more. [7]Bring your list to the conversation, but don’t go straight to your demands. Instead, approach the conversation with something like: "Hey mom and dad, I understand why you feel nervous about letting me hang out with my friends whenever I want, because you don’t know precisely what we’re doing and you can’t be there in case something goes wrong. But I think we can come to a compromise on this issue; I think I’ve earned your trust to enjoy some more privileges. I’m a maturing, growing teenager—almost 17 years old—and I need to start exercising my judgment and making some of my own choices."
    [8]Furthermore, present your desired privileges and your deserving reasons, and be ready to compromise. [9]Discuss what’s on your list and have specific examples on-hand to demonstrate your good qualities and your readiness for increased privileges. Your parents may engage in negotiations with you over certain privileges or parts of them, and you should take that as a step in the right direction. In the end, you will have to compromise. Your parents may not give you everything you want, but that’s OK. [10]Remember that trust-building is a process—if you show that you can be responsible about the privileges they do give you, you can push the envelope in a future conversation.
    Most parents tend to be overprotective. Try to understand that it is all out of love and care. From now on, earn their trust and approval through reasoning and action, rather than drama or fighting.