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  3. Most of us are taught to pay attention to what is said—the words. Words do provide us with some information, but meanings are de

Most of us are taught to pay attention to what is said—the words. Words do provide us with some information, but meanings are de

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问题     Most of us are taught to pay attention to what is said—the words. Words do provide us with some information, but meanings are derived from so many other sources that it would hinder our effectiveness as a partner to a relationship to rely too heavily on words alone. Words are used to describe only a small part of the many ideas we associate with any given message. Sometimes ate can gain insight into some of those associations if we listen for more than words. We don’t always say what we mean or mean what we say. Sometimes our words don’t mean anything except  "I’m letting 0ffsome steam. I don’t really want you to pay close attention to what I’m saying. Just pay attention to what I’m feeling." Mostly we mean several things at once. A person wanting to purchase a house says to the current owner, This step has to be fixed before I’ll buy. The owner says, "It’s been like that for years." Actually, the step hasn’t been like that for years, but the unspoken message is: "I don’t want to fix it. We put up with it. Why can’t you?" The search for a more expansive view of meaning can be developed of examining a message in terms of who said it, when it occurred, the related conditions or situation, and how it was said.
    When a message occurs can also reveal associated meaning. Let us assume two couples do exactly the same amount of kissing and arguing. But one couple always kisses after an argument and the other couple always argues after a kiss. The ordering of the behaviors may mean a great deal more than the frequency of the behavior. A friend’s unusually docile(温顺的) behavior may only be understood by noting that it was preceded by situations that required an abnormal amount of assertiveness. Some responses may be directly linked to a developing pattern of responses and defy logic. For example~ a person who says "No!" to a series of charges like "You’re dumb!"  "You’re lazy!" and "You’re dishonest!" may also say "No!" and try to justify his or her response if the next statement is "And you’re good looking."
    We would do well to listen for how messages are presented. The words: "It’s surely nice to have you by my side." can be said with emphasis and excitement or ritualistically. The phrase can be said once or repeated several times. And the meanings we associate with the phrase will change accordingly. Sometimes if we say something infrequently it assumes more importance; sometimes the more we say something the less importance it assumes.  
Effective communication is rendered possible between two conversing partners if ______.
选项 A、they use proper words to carry their ideas
B、they both speak truly of their own feelings
C、they try to understand each other’s ideas beyond words
D、they are capable of associating meaning with their words
答案C
解析 推断题。由文章第一段第二句可知，谈话双方要想进行有效的交流，就不能只注重对方的言语，言下之意就是要理解言语所隐含的意思即ideas beyond words，所以C正确。对言语进行含义联想只是手段，真正的目的是了解说话人的意图，而且能够联想并不代表联想的含义就准确，所以排除D。
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