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  3. " We live in a society which sees high self-esteem as a proof of well-being, but we do not want to be intimate with this admirab

" We live in a society which sees high self-esteem as a proof of well-being, but we do not want to be intimate with this admirab

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问题     " We live in a society which sees high self-esteem as a proof of well-being, but we do not want to be intimate with this admirable and desirable person. "
    【F1】If the odds of finding one’s soul mate are so dreadfully dismal and the secret of lasting love is largely a matter of concession, is it any wonder that a growing number of people choose to go solo? The choice of solitude, of active aloneness, has relevance not only to romance but to all human bonds—even Emerson, perhaps the most eloquent champion of friendship in the English language, lived a significant portion of his life in active solitude, the very state that enabled him to produce his enduring essays and journals.【F2】And yet that choice is one our culture treats with equal parts apprehension and contempt, particularly in our age of fetishistic connectivity. Hemingway’s famous assertion that solitude is essential for creative work is perhaps so oft-cited precisely because it is so radical and unnerving in its proposition.
    A friend recently relayed an illustrative anecdote; One evening during a short retreat in Mexico by herself, she entered the local restaurant and asked to be seated.【F3】Upon realizing she was to dine alone, the wait staff escorted her to the back with a blend of puzzlement and pity, so as not to dilute the resort’s carefully engineered illusory landscape of coupled bliss.
    【F4】Solitude, the kind we elect ourselves, is met with judgement and enslaved by stigma. It is also a capacity absolutely essential for a full life.
    That paradox is what British author Sara Maitland explores in How to Be Alone—the latest installment in The School of Life’s thoughtful crusade to reclaim the traditional self-help genre in a series of intelligent , non-self-helpy yet immeasurably helpful guides to such aspects of modern living as finding fulfilling work, cultivating a healthier relationship with sex, worrying less about money, and staying sane.
    While Maitland lives in a region of Scotland with one of the lowest population densities in Europe, where the nearest supermarket is more than twenty miles away and there is no cell service, she wasn’t always a loner—she grew up in a big, close-knit family as one of six children.【F5】It was only when she became transfixed by the notion of silence, the subject of her previous book, that she arrived, obliquely, at solitude.
    Maitland’s interest in solitude, however, is somewhat different from that in silence—while private in its origin, it springs from a public-facing concern about the need to address " a serious social and psychological problem around solitude," a desire to " allay people’s fears and then help them actively enjoy time spent in solitude. "
【F5】
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答案只有在沉默的概念(就是她上一本书的主题)攫住了她的时候，她才会迂回曲折地进入孤独状态。
解析 这是一个复合句。本句为it was only when…that…引导的强调句式。强调成分为when引导的时间状语从句，其主干为she became transfixed；the subject of her previous book，是silence的同位语；该句主干句为she arrived at solitude。
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