Facing Children’s problems in adjusting to college, some parents seem to

Students’ pressure sometimes comes from their parents. (4) Most parents are well meaning, but some of them aren’t very helpful with the problems their sons and daughters have in adjusting to college. And a few of them seem to go out of their way to add to their children’s difficulties. For one thing, (5) parents are often not aware of the kinds of problems their children face. They don’t realize that the competition is keener, that the required standards of work are higher, and that their children may not be prepared for the change. Accustomed to seeing A’s and B’s on the high school report cards, they may be upset when their children’s first semester college grades are below that level. At their kindest, they may gently inquire why John or Mary isn’t doing better, whether he or she is trying as hard as he or she should, and so on. At their worst, they may threaten to take their children out of college, or cut off funds. (6) Sometimes parents regard their children as extensions of themselves, and think it only right and natural that they determine what their children do with their lives. In their involvement and identification with their children, they forget that everyone is different, and that each person must develop in his or her own way. They forget that their children, who are now young adults, must be the ones responsible for what they do and what they are.