A、How to interpret what people say. B、What to do when you listen to others talking. C、How to avoid mistakes when you communicate

We can make mistakes at any age. Some mistakes we make are about money. But most mistakes are about people. "Did Jerry really care when I broke up with Helen?" "When I got that great job, did Jim really feel good about it, as a friend? Or did he envy my luck?" "And Paul-why didn’t pick up that he was friendly just because I had a car?” When we look back, doubts like these can make us feel bad. But when we look back, it’s too late.
Why do we go wrong about our friends or our enemies? Sometimes what people say hides their real meaning. And if we don’t really listen we miss the feeling behind the words. Suppose someone tells you, "You’re a lucky dog." That’s being friendly. But "lucky dog"? There’s a bit of envy in those words. Maybe he doesn’t see it himself. But bringing in the "dog" bit puts you down a little. What he may be saying is that he doesn’t think you deserve your luck.
"Just think of all the things you have to be thankful for" is another noise that says one thing and means another. It could mean that the speaker is trying to get you to see your problem as part of your life as a whole. But is he? Wrapped up in this phrase is the thought that your problem isn’t important. It’s telling you to think of all the starving people in the world when you haven’t got a date for Saturday night.
    How can you tell the real meaning behind someone’s words? One way is to take a good look at the person talking. Do his words fit the way he looks? Does what he says agree with the tone of voice? His posture? The look in his eyes? Stop and think. The minute you spend thinking about the real meaning of what people say to you may save another mistake.