How can we prevent juvenile crime?

M: There’s a post card from Uncle Tom and a questionnaire to fill in from the company which gave us the free samples of tinned meat.
W: What do they want to know?
M: If we liked it or not.
W: If we liked it? Are they joking? You’re not filling it in now, are you?
M: But we did say we’d return the questionnaire when we took the samples. And if I do it now I can post it on my way to work.
W: Well, write "we didn’t like it".
M: I’ll put "not much". That sounds nicer. Then it says "If not, why?"
W: No flavor.
M: "How did you cook it?" is next.
W: Fried it like what they said. Took a mouthful and gave it to the cat.
M: "Guests’ comments, if any!"
W: The cat became ill. Poor thing, her fur went all green.
M: Did guests ask for the brand name?
W: Tell them that our cat can’t speak.
M: "Will you be buying our product regularly?"
W: Certainly not! They must be out of their minds.