How long was Ms. Bair’s marriage? According to the lawyer, what was the major concern for women who wanted to divorce?

W: How do you define late-life divorce?
M: Someone who has been married at least 20 years. The people interviewed were mostly in their fifties; they ranged through 85. People were ending 55-year, 60-year marriage.
W: Ms. Bair, your own 43-year marriage ended in divorce, yet you don’t write about it. Why?
M: I’ve never talked about myself. I have one or two friends with whom 1 talk about my personal life, but I really did write this book as an objective observer.
W: We see late-life divorce as something happening only to the wealthy. But your study crosses class lines. Did it surprise you that people were willing to lose financial security, particularly the women?
M: Ultimately no. A lawyer-mediator I spoke to described herself as the reality checker. "I’m the one who has to tell women they are not going to be able to make it on their own and they’re going to have to find a way to survive within the marriage. " I tell the story of one woman who remained in her marriage for another 15 years and would come in periodically to see her, and each time the mediator would have to say, "Nothing has changed. This will be your life if you leave this marriage. " Finally at the end of 15 years this woman said "I don’t care if I can’t survive. I just can’t stay in that house with him another day" and she did get a divorce.
W: Wasn’t there a sense of shame or failure in most of the people you spoke with?
M: No. Even people who came from the very religious backgrounds really didn’t feel the shame. They regretted that their church would no longer take them in or that they weren’t as welcome in various social settings as before. But if there was any sense of shame, it was very slight.
W: So they didn’t agonize about breaking their marital vows?
M: No, not really. What came across was a great sense of relief.