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  3. Love is probably the best antidepressant there is because one of the most common sources of depression is feeling unloved. Most

Love is probably the best antidepressant there is because one of the most common sources of depression is feeling unloved. Most

admin2011-02-25  58
问题     Love is probably the best antidepressant there is because one of the most common sources of depression is feeling unloved. Most depressed people don’t love themselves and they do not feel loved by others. They also are very self-focused, making them less attractive to others and depriving them of opportunities to learn the skills of love. There is a mythology in our culture that love just happens. As a result, the depressed often sit around passively waiting for someone to love them. But love doesn’t work that way. To get love and keep love you have to go out and be active and learn a variety of specific skills.
    Most of us get our ideas of love from popular culture. We come to believe that love is something that sweeps us off our feet. But the pop-culture ideal of love consists of unrealistic images created for entertainment, which is one reason so many of us are set up to be depressed. It’s part of our national vulnerability, like eating junk food, constantly stimulated by images of instant gratification.  We think it is love when it’s simply distraction and infatuation. One consequence is that when we hit real love we become upset and disappointed because there are many things that do not fit the cultural ideal.
    Limerance is the psychological state of deep infatuation. It feels good but rarely lasts. Limerance is that first stage of mad attraction whereby all the hormones are flowing and things feel so right. Limerance lasts, on average, six months. It can progress to love. Love mostly starts out as limerance, but limerance doesn’t always evolve into love.
    Love is a learned skill, not something that comes from hormones or emotion particularly. Erich Fromm called it "an act of will. " If you don’t learn the skills of love you virtually guarantee that you will be depressed, not only because you will not be connected enough, but because you will have many failure experiences.
    There are always core differences between two people, no matter how good or close you are, and if the relationship is going right those differences surface. The issue then is to identify the differences and negotiate them so that they don’t distance you or kill the relationship. You do that by understanding where the other person is coming from, who that person is, and by being able to represent yourself. When the differences are known you must be able to negotiate and compromise on them until you find a common ground that works for both.  
The mythology that "love just happens" means that______.
选项 A、love will come as you are waiting for it
B、it is rare that one can find real love
C、people always actively seek love
D、giving and getting is just in love
答案A
解析 句义题；单纯依据原文“There is a mythology in our culture that love just happens”这样的句子我们没有办法推测“love just happens”这一表达的含义。从原文后面的分析我们看到“As a result，the depressed often sit around passively waiting for someone to love them”这样的信息，什么样的态度会让人们消极被动地等待别人去爱自己呢?比较阅读4个选项，A选项的表达是合理的。当人们认为爱自己会出现的时候，就会出现消极等待的行为了。
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