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  3. When something terrible happens to our friends, we often can’t respond properly, We hurt their feelings by saying exactly what t

When something terrible happens to our friends, we often can’t respond properly, We hurt their feelings by saying exactly what t

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问题    When something terrible happens to our friends, we often can’t respond properly, We hurt their feelings by saying exactly what they don’t want to hear; we stay away when they need, us; or if we do get in touch, we avoid the sensitive subject altogether. We don’t mean to be rude or thoughtless—so why do we act this way when we really want to help? How can we find the right thing to say to a friend in a difficult situation? Here are some suggestions:
   Keep the focus off yourself. When you are with a friend who has suffered a tragedy, remember that you are there to provide support and comfort. Concentrate on his or her feelings rather than your own. Don’t use a friend’s tragedy as an excuse to drag out similar experiences you’ve had. There’s nothing wrong with saying: "I’ve been through it, I know how you must feel", but you should not say: "When my mother died, I stopped eating for a week." Not everyone experiences grief in the same way, so don’t impose guilt on a person who doesn’t show emotion as openly as you might.
   Just listen. Many painful people need to mourn, to go through the normal stages of grief and to talk about their feelings and memories, So just listen, accept your friend’s feelings and be understanding. Some hurting people may not want to say anything, and you have to respect that too. One man says that the best phone calls he got were from a friend who called once a day and talked for no more than a minute, letting him know she was thinking of him.
   Offer help. An emotionally hurt person may be overwhelmed by the details of everyday life. Offer to do something, finish a project or take the kids to their piano lessons. "When I had a broken back, I felt completely out of control," says Joan, a divorced woman with a young daughter. "When my neighbors took turns filing in for me in the car pool, it helped me relax. It was the difference between chaos and order."
   Be patient. The grief and sorrow can range in intensity and duration and often lasts a few years. Let the person know you’re concerned. You might say: "What you’re going through must be very difficult, and I don’t think you have to do it alone. I’d like to help and would be always here with you". No one can be expected to know what to say or how to act in every difficult situation. But if you begin with common sense and politeness, and focus on being supportive, soon you will know the right way to respond.
When you are talking with a hurting friend, the best policy is______.
选项 A、to listen patiently
B、to try to comfort him or her
C、to tell him or her something entertaining
D、to give him or her a phone call
答案A
解析 本题为细节题，题干是“when you are talking with a hurting friend，the best policy is“意思是：“当你和一位受伤的朋友聊天时，最好的策略是…”这里hurting friend是定位词，在原文中第三段Some hurting people，这一段的副标题是just listen，与各选项对比：A“耐心倾听”；与原文的副标题相符；B“努力去安慰她或他”，这里不是在定位处的内容，是第二段的内容，所以排除B；C“给他或她讲一些有趣的事”，在定位处不存在，所以排除C；D“给他或她打一个电话”，在定位段里的确存在打电话，called once a day and talked for no more than a minute，意思是：一天一个电话，只讲不到一分钟；所以D也与原文不符；且副标题比文章中的内容更重要；因此本题选A。
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