A、Parents never ask their children for advice. B、Parents always give their children constructive advice. C、Most teenagers seldom

Today, I am going to talk to you something about advice. Advice is a funny thing. Some people seem to have a constant surplus of it, and offer it nonstop to those around them, even when it is unsolicited or unwelcome. Others are on the receiving end of lots of advice from others, but they rarely take any of it. A very common example of “askhole” behavior occurs in the teenage years. Teenagers’ parents can become constant broadcasters of advice, and the younger folks develop ever more sophisticated skills for appearing to listen while actually turning down the volume of the incoming messages to nearly zero. In most cases, teenagers rarely follow their parents’ advice. I’ve heard experienced parents whose children are now fully grown, say that even when teenagers seem to be in a tunnel which parental communication signals seem unable to penetrate, parents should still keep on offering their unsolicited wisdom, perspectives, and advice. The theory goes, that even in the absence of acknowledgement, let alone agreement, a certain degree of the message still seeps through in the long run. On the other hand, like all advice, this depends on the tone and mode of delivery. There is a fine line between advice, for example, and nagging. Some people tend to take good advice and deliver it in such a way that it sounds like, and is heard as, nagging. Advice transformed into nagging is usually excessively repetitive, critical rather than constructive in tone, sometimes condescending, and usually a one-way street. You may give your advice without an invitation for feedback or response such as “What do you think?” The teenager-parent context is a somewhat special one, but giving and receiving advice pervades our professional and personal lives. If you think about your friends and associates, they probably include people who either give too much advice, including on subjects where their expertise is doubtful, or offer advice in an unhelpful tone, e.g. bossy or condescending. You’ll probably also find friends and associates who ignored some very good advice and got themselves into a very difficult situation as a result. It is not instinctive for us to ask for advice. There are face issues involved, and potential embarrassment, especially in the workplace. On the other hand, we deny ourselves a lot of learning opportunities and we are afraid to ask advice from those with richer experience than we have.
20. What can be learned about teenagers and their parents?
21. What makes advice be transformed into nagging?
22. Why is it not instinctive for us to ask for advice?