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Why are so many people so afraid of failure? Quite simply because no one tells us how to fail so that failure becomes an experie
Why are so many people so afraid of failure? Quite simply because no one tells us how to fail so that failure becomes an experie
admin
2010-06-18
47
问题
Why are so many people so afraid of failure? Quite simply because no one tells us how to fail so that failure becomes an experience that will lead to growth. We forget that failure is part of the human condition and that, as the family therapist Virginia Satire observes, "every person has the right to fail."
Most parents work hard at either preventing failure or protecting their children from the knowledge that they have failed. One way is to lower standards. A mother describes her child’s hastily made table as "Perfect!" even though it moves unsteadily on uneven legs. An- other way is to shift blame. If John fails science, his teacher is unfair or stupid.
When one of my daughters was ten, she decided to raise money for charity by holding a carnival. Proud of her, we hastily allowed her to put posters all over town. We realized too late that she couldn’t possibly handle all the refreshments, shows, and games promised in the posters. The whole family pitched in to prevent embarrassing failure--and the next year she advertised an even more ambitious event. Why not? We had kept her from discovering her limitations.
The trouble with failure-prevention devices is that they leave a child unequipped for life in the real world. The young need to learn that no one can be best at everything, no one can win all the time--and that it’s possible to enjoy a game even when you don’t win. A child who’s not invited to a birthday party, who doesn’t make the honor roll of the baseball team, feels terrible, of course. But parents should not offer a quick consolation prize or say, "It doesn’t matter, "because it does. The youngster should be allowed to experience disappointment-and then be helped to master it.
Failure is never pleasurable. It hurts adults and children alike. But it can make a positive contribution to your life once you learn to use it. Step one is to ask" Why did I fail? "Resist the natural impulse to blame someone else. Ask yourself what you did wrong, how you can improve. If someone else can help, don’t be shy about inquiring.
When I was a teenager I failed to get a job, I’d counted on, I telephoned the interviewer to ask why, "Because you came ten minutes late," I was told, "We can’t afford employees who waste other people’s time." The explanation was reassuring (I hadn’t been rejected as a person) and helpful, too, I don’t think I’ve been late for anything since.
Success, which encourages repetition of old behavior, is not nearly as good a teacher as failure. You can learn from a disastrous party how to give a good one, from an ill-chosen first house what to look for in a second. Even a failure that seems definitive can prompt fresh thinking, a change of direction. After twelve years of studying ballet (a dance in which a story is told without speech or singing, a friend of mine came to a professional company (for a job). She was turned down, "Would further training help? " she asked. The ballet master shook his head. "You will never be a dancer," he said. "You haven’t the body for it. ’ In such cases, the way to use failure is to take stock courageously, asking, "What have I left? What else can I do? ’My friend put away her toe shoes and moved into dance therapy, a field where she’s both competent and useful.
Failure frees one to take risks because there’s less to lose. Often there’s a renewal of energy--an awareness of new possibilities.
Which of the following would be the best title for this selection?
选项
A、Teaching Your Child to Succeed.
B、Learning from Failure.
C、How to Be Successful?
D、Why We Are So Afraid of Failure.
答案
B
解析
本文主要论述了人们要正确对待“失败”,以及如何从“失败”中汲取教训,故[B]为正确答案。
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