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  3. If you want to teach your children how to say sorry, you must be good at saying it yourself, especially to your own children. Bu

If you want to teach your children how to say sorry, you must be good at saying it yourself, especially to your own children. Bu

admin2015-10-05  83
问题     If you want to teach your children how to say sorry, you must be good at saying it yourself, especially to your own children. But how you say it can be quite tricky.
    If you say to your children "I’m sorry I got angry with you, but ..." what follows that "but" can render the apology ineffective: "I had a bad day" or "your noise was giving me a headache" leaves the person who has been injured feeling that he should be apologizing for his bad behavior in expecting an apology.
    Another method by which people appear to apologize without actually doing so is to say "I’m sorry you’ re upset" : this suggests that you are somehow at fault for allowing yourself to get upset by what the other person has done.
    Then there is the general, all covering apology, which avoids the necessity of identifying a specific act that was particularly hurtful or insulting, and which the person who is apologizing should promise never to do again. Saying "I’m useless as a parent" does not commit a person to any specific improvement.
    These pseudo-apologies are used by people who believe saying sorry shows weakness, Parents who wish to teach their children to apologize should see it as a sign of strength, and therefore not resort to these pseudo-apologies.
    But even when presented with examples of genuine contrition, children still need help to become a ware of the complexities of saying sorry. A three-year-old might need help in understanding that other children feel pain just as he does, and that hitting a playmate over the head with a heavy toy requires an apology. A six-year-old might need reminding that spoiling other children’ s expectations can require an apology. A 12-year-old might need to be shown that raiding the biscuit tin without asking permission is acceptable, but that borrowing a parent’ s clothes without permission is not.
It can be inferred from the passage that apologizing properly is______.
选项 A、a social issue calling for immediate attention
B、not necessary among family members
C、a sign of social progress
D、not as simple as it seems
答案D
解析 A．一个急需关注的社会问题。本文讨论的是父母该如何指导孩子道歉，主要论述道歉技巧问题，没有把道歉方式上升到社会问题，“急需关注”的社会问题就更谈不上了。B．在家庭成员之间不是必需的。文中举出了很多例子来说明父母应以正确的方式来向孩子道歉，可见在作者看来家庭成员之间合适的道歉绝对不能说是可有可无的。C．社会进步的表现。文章没有提到适宜的道歉方式与社会进步有什么关系。D．并不像看上去那么简单。前五段一开始指出父母向孩子道歉时应该讲究技巧，所用的词是tricky，而后用了数段具体讲述应当如何讲究技巧，可见适宜的道歉方式并不简单。而父母们往往做不好这一点，即是因为它看似简单，所以D的说法是正确的。
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