首页
外语
计算机
考研
公务员
职业资格
财经
工程
司法
医学
专升本
自考
实用职业技能
登录
外语
Should A Kid Be Guided to Tell a White Lie? It’s my family’s tradition to exchange girls on Christmas Eve. Before we did so,
Should A Kid Be Guided to Tell a White Lie? It’s my family’s tradition to exchange girls on Christmas Eve. Before we did so,
admin
2010-07-24
58
问题
Should A Kid Be Guided to Tell a White Lie?
It’s my family’s tradition to exchange girls on Christmas Eve. Before we did so, I whispered to my uncle and his wife, "Just want you to know: I think what I got you is really cool, so just tell me you like it, no matter what, okay?"
I know that sounds rude, but there’s another Christmas custom in my family: we give each other weird gifts.
There is a sweet reason for this. My grandparents grew up during the Depression, and there were years when they had no gifts at all. So my grandmother and her siblings(兄弟姐妹) would gift-wrap their old socks and clothes, just so they had something to open on Christmas. Pretend presents were better than none at all.
My grandmother never really got over those early years, so, for the rest of her life, she went a little crazy at the holidays. She’d start buying gifts in October. It didn’t matter what it was. Socks, toothbrushes, used paperbacks she’d read but didn’t like, all went under the tree. Contents of catalog "mystery boxes" meant we spent another hour unwrapping presents. One of my more memorable gifts: a single piece of clear plastic labeled "face shield." I was apparently to hold it in front of my eyes when I used hair spray.
We all thanked Grandma greatly no matter what we got. As a little kid, this pattern of gratitude for the terrible presents puzzled me; it took a long time for me to understand it was all right to laugh at some of her gifts. Now I don’t really know if my aunt and uncle actually liked the gift I gave them. They said they did, but since I coached them to tell me they love it, I’ll never really know if that was the truth.
All of these make me think of the work of McGill professor Victoria Talwar. As an expert in children’s lying behavior, Talwar has been studying how kids respond to unwanted gifts. When they get a gift they hate, can they still thank someone and pretend to love it?
Talwar tests kids’ ability to do this, by asking kids to pick a toy they want; if they win a game, they get the chosen toy. There are plastic horses, a small car, a few other items, including an unwrapped, dirty, worn, used bar of soap. At some point in the game, there’s a switch in the adults who play with the kids. So, instead of giving the child her chosen toy, the late-arriving adult gives the child the soap.
Then, the researchers watch what happens. 68% of kids, aged 3 to 11, will spontaneously say they love the gift of old ugly soap. The older they are, the more likely they are to say a white lie about the gift. And if parents encourage the children to say how much they like the present, the percentage of kids lying about the gift increases to 87%.
At this point, some may be saying that a white lie isn’t a lie. That’s because you are looking at lying from the adult perspective--that lies are acceptable, when told with the intent of helping someone, or protecting another’s feelings. But kids don’t think of lying in the same way. For them, the intent behind a lie--for good or for ill--is irrelevant. It is so irrelevant that, for very young kids, you can’t even lie by accident. Someone who gives out wrong information, but believed it to be true, is still a liar in these kids’ book.
Kids just don’t believe that lying comes in shades of white or gray. Lying is much simpler than that: lying is telling somebody something that isn’t so; lying is really bad; and lying gets you punished. And if it gets you punished, you shouldn’t do it. In Talwar’s lab, parents have literally cheered to hear their kids lie about how great it is to have received the old soap. The parents have pride over their children’s knowing the socially appropriate response.
Talwar’s regularly amazed by this. The parents never even seem to realize that the child told a lie. They never want to scold the child afterwards, or talk about the kid’s behavior.
Regardless of the parents’ pride, the kids aren’t happy about their successfully lying. Instead, it can be torture for them.
I was at Talwar’s lab when she was doing a version of the unwanted gift experiment with kids in the first and second grades. Watching kid after kid react to that gross bar of soap, I could really see how emotionally difficult it is for kids to tell a white lie. The kids were disappointed when they were handed the soap, but that was nothing compared to the discomfort they showed while having to lie about liking it. They are uneasy. Some looked like they were going to cry. It was simply painful to watch. Indeed, Talwar has found that some kids just can’t even bring themselves to say something nice about the present. About 20% of 11-year-olds just refuse to tell a white lie about that unwanted gift--even after their parents encouraged them to do so. And about 14% of kids still won’t tell a white lie, even after their parents specifically explained the prosocial (亲社会的) reasons to tell the lie. These kids just can’t reconcile the disconnect between knowing how bad lying is, and being told they should now lie. Talwar cautions that we need to recognize that, at least from the kids’ point of view, white lies really are still lies. We should take care to explain the motivation behind the untruth--that we want to protect the other person’s feelings. Kids may still fail to completely understand the distinction, but at least it will encourage them to think about others’ feelings when they act. And we need to reassure children that they won’t be punished for a specific white lie--because they did something nice for someone else.
Talwar also warns that we adults should pay attention to our own use of white lies. Kids notice these untruths-and that we rarely get punished for them. If kids believe that we regularly lie to get out of uncomfortable social situations, they are more likely to adopt a similar strategy of lying. If we don’t watch it, we could unintentionally be giving kids yet another present: a license to lie.
Parents should explain to kids the reason for telling white lies is to______.
选项
答案
protect the other person’s feelings
解析
此处需填入动词短语,与to构成不定式结构。题干的the reason for telling white lies是对该句the motivation behind the untruth的同义改写,破折号后的内容即为具体的动机(motivation),也即本题提问的目的,that从句中to后的内容为答案所在,即protect the other person’s feelings。
转载请注明原文地址:https://kaotiyun.com/show/dMN7777K
0
大学英语四级
相关试题推荐
Itisdifficulttoimaginewhatlifewouldbelikewithoutmemory.Themeaningsofthousandsofeveryday【S1】______,thebasesfo
A、Congressacceptedhimasavolunteer.B、Hebecameanofficerassoonashearrived.C、HemetWashingtonandbecamehispersona
A、HewantedtofightagainsttheAmericans.B、HewantedtovisitGeorgeWashington.C、HewantedtodobusinesswiththeAmerican
PreparingforTestsIdeallyitshouldbeloveoflearning,achievement,andself-improvementthatpromptsalllearning.But
TheUnitedStatesisacountrymadeupofmanydifferentraces.Usuallytheyaremixedtogetherandcan’tbetoldonefromanoth
A、Becausehishandswereseriouslyhurt.B、Becausehiskneeswereseriouslyhurt.C、Becausehisfootwasseriouslyhurt.D、Becau
PabloRuizPicassowasaSpanishpainter,【B1】______andengraverwholivedfrom1881to1973.Hewasavery【B2】______(independent
A、Becauseitcomesbymail.B、Becauseitarrivesafewdaysearlier.C、Becauseitismuchcheaper.D、Becauseitisinconvenient
Allmyefforts____________(集中在理解他们的英语上)duringthosetwohoursofthedaywhenIwaswiththem.
A、Better.B、Exciting.C、Disappointing.D、Interesting.C本题中女士没直接回答问题,而是含蓄地说名字蛮有趣,我们对它的期望还是蛮高的。说明电视剧是令人失望的。
随机试题
(2005年第69题)下列关于结核性腹膜炎全身症状的叙述,错误的是
属于急性肾小球肾炎的是属于急性间质性肾炎的是
PM10是指悬浮在空气中,空气动力学当量直径()的颗粒物。
基坑开挖一段后先浇筑顶板,在顶板保护下,自上而下开挖、支撑和浇筑结构内衬的施工方法称为()。
阅读下面材料,回答问题。小南是独生子女,妈妈对小南百依百顺,爸爸则非常粗暴。家里玩具很多,但她看到别人玩什么,她就要什么,还经常和小朋友打架。老师开始还严厉地责备他,后来也不管了。对于这种情况,爸爸很生气,妈妈非常担心。问题:分析小南个性的特点以及造成这
下面是一位教师的教学设计,请根据教学过程结合小学数学新课程标准理念进行评析.教学内容:人教社《义务教育课程标准实验教科书.数学》四年级上册第四单元“平行与垂直”.教学目标:1.知识目标:通过观察与操作,初步认识平面上的
公安机关的任务,是指公安机关在国家法律所确定的管辖范围内,为实现一定的目标所进行的工作内容。( )
服务大厅里有很多老百姓在办理业务,突然网络出现故障了,有的群众因此情绪激动,作为工作人员你怎么办?
药品经口服和皮下注射,总会有许多问题产生。你给病人皮下注射,药物是可以被迅速吸收,但它是“一次性的”,必须经常重复。一些长效、定时溶解的口服新药,虽然比古老传统的丸药有很大的进步,但医师们相信这些药大多会与胃肠液相互作用而造成损害。为了避免这些缺点
我国历史上的原始人群时期,从距今一百七八十万年前开始,到距今四五万年前结束,相当于考古学上的()。
最新回复
(
0
)