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  3. It’s one of the things we are most afraid might happen to us. We go to great lengths to avoid it. And yet we do it all the same.

It’s one of the things we are most afraid might happen to us. We go to great lengths to avoid it. And yet we do it all the same.

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问题 It’s one of the things we are most afraid might happen to us. We go to great lengths to avoid it. And yet we do it all the same. That is, we marry the wrong person. So here is the question, why will we marry the wrong person?
    For most of recorded history, people married for logical sorts of reasons: because her parcel of land adjoined yours, his family had a flourishing business, her father was the magistrate in town, there was a castle to keep up, or both sets of parents subscribed to the same interpretation of a holy text. And from such reasonable marriages, there flowed loneliness, infidelity, abuse, hardness of heart and screams heard through the nursery doors. The marriage of reason was not, in hindsight, reasonable at all; it was often expedient, narrow-minded, snobbish and exploitative. That is why what has replaced it—the marriage of feeling—has largely been spared the need to account for itself.
    What matters in the marriage of feeling is that two people are drawn to each other by an overwhelming instinct and know in their hearts that it is right. Indeed, the more imprudent a marriage appears (perhaps it’s been only six months since they met; one of them has no job or both are barely out of their teens), the safer it can feel.
    But though we believe ourselves to be seeking happiness in marriage, it isn’t that simple. What we really seek is familiarity—which may well complicate any plans we might have had for happiness. We are looking to recreate, within our adult relationships, the feelings we knew so well in childhood. The love most of us will have tasted early on was often confused with other more destructive dynamics: feelings of wanting to help an adult who was out of control, of being deprived of a parent’s warmth or scared of his anger, of not feeling secure enough to communicate our wishes. How logical, then, that we should as grown-ups find ourselves rejecting certain candidates for marriage not because they are wrong but because they are too right—too balanced, mature, understanding and reliable—given that in our hearts, such Tightness feels foreign. We marry the wrong people because we don’t associate being loved with feeling of happiness.
    Finally, we marry to make a nice feeling permanent. We imagine that marriage will help us to bottle the joy we felt when the thought of proposing first came to us: Perhaps we were in Venice, on the lagoon, in a motorboat, with the evening sun throwing glitter across the sea, chatting about aspects of our souls no one ever seemed to have grasped before, with the prospect of dinner in a risotto place a little later. We married to make such sensations permanent but failed to see that there was no solid connection between these feelings and the institution of marriage.
    The good news is that it doesn’t matter if we find we have married the wrong person. We mustn’t abandon him or her, only the founding romantic idea upon which the Western understanding of marriage has been based the last 250 years: that a perfect being exists who can meet all our needs and satisfy our every yearning. We need to swap the romantic view for a tragic (and at points comedic) awareness that every human will frustrate, anger, annoy, madden and disappoint us—and we will (without any malice) do the same to them.
    The person who is best suited to us is not the person who shares our every taste (he or she doesn’t exist), but the person who can negotiate differences in taste intelligently—the person who is good at disagreement. Rather than some notional idea of perfect complementarity, it is the capacity to tolerate differences with generosity that is the true marker of the "not overly wrong" person. Compatibility is an achievement of love; it must not be its precondition.
Which of the following is typical of the marriage of feeling?
选项 A、Being unable to support oneself.
B、Having a sensible compassion.
C、Being attracted to each other.
D、Seeking a perfect match.
答案C
解析 细节题。A项“不能自力更生”，B项“有一种理智的同情”，C项“被互相吸引”，D项“追求般配”。根据第三段中的“What matters in the marriage of feeling is that two people are drawn to each other by an overwhelming instinct and know in their hearts that it is right”可知，在建立于感情基础上的婚姻中，重要的是双方被一种无法抗拒的直觉相互吸引。故本题选C。
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