apple delight hold strength give up experience lie desperate be packed with walk out of

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问题     apple       delight     hold     strength       give up     experience     lie
    desperate   be packed   with     walk out of    happy       step out
    I committed suicide! I took some poison and soon found myself lying on the ground, bitterly but happily.
    When I was a little girl, I once looked at a knife and thought of death after【G1】________some very sad things that a seven-year-old girl could not bear. But I was so afraid of death that I【G2】________that crazy idea. Now over ten years have slipped away, I became so brave that I was not afraid of death.
    【G3】________on the ground with pain in my stomach, I felt relief and happiness of death.
    I thought of nothing that could not be left behind. I was even happy for my dear parents, for they could raise another child who was most able to realize all their expectation and hope, and to take care of them when they get old. They are the only people in the world who deserve all the happiness and care. They would be so happy that they would forget me soon. I imagined what Heaven would be like. There would be no disillusion, no worry and anxiety, no hardship, no harsh word, and no expectation and pressure. It only had all the beautiful things in life. At the moment a strange feeling came up to me and little by little I felt hard to breathe and more pain all over my body. More strangely, unlike most people who end their lives【G4】________, I had no fear at all. Everything in my mind was in peace. Thus I closed my eyes, as if I were to sleep, to have a wonderful dream, which angels and God would be in it.
    Many of you may say I’m a coward. I’m so fragile that I fear what the future may bring to me. But you are all wrong! When I am not afraid of death, of what else on earth I am afraid?!
    I closed my eyes, but I saw many beautifully colorful circles through a long tunnel. They hit my face and my body but I did not feel hurt. Then here came still darkness, nothing to be seen. Suddenly, I heard a voice speaking to me. I listened, and it was telling a story.
    It told of a man who was lost in a big, hot desert when he met a big sandstorm. He had lost all his backpacks which【G5】________food and water. Only a green apple was left in his pocket. " I have an apple!" said the man excitedly.【G6】________the apple in his hand, he walked, walked, and walked. Two day passed, and there were several times when he wanted to give up in hunger and thirst. But when he thought he still had the tasty apple, his strength was【G7】________. After three days, he finally【G8】________the desert with the once green, tasty apple, which became dry and not tasty anymore, in his hand.
    It is a good story, I thought, and it may be the story told to every one who is going up to Heaven.
    I became very sad, though, for I had given up my life. There was no "【G9】________" for me to help me hold on in the desert of life. Or was there?
    Suddenly, the voice stopped, and there came a light far away, in the end of the tunnel. Excited and【G10】________, I flew fast to it. It occurred to me that there would be Heaven, inside the light, welcoming me!
                                                                                                                                                                                    (From Life, or Death ?)
【G4】

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答案desperately

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