A child’s relationship with his mother

Interviewer (W) Sean Smith (M)
W: Today I’d like to welcome Sean Smith, a psychologist from Maryland State Research Institute, who is going to talk to us about the normal and sound development of self with adopted child. Hello, Sean.
M: Hello.
W: Now Sean, as we may know, a child is likely to be affected by certain influential factors during his normal development of self. Then what do you think is the most important factor affecting this process?
M: Well, (1) actually several factors may work together to cultivate the self. Among them, a child’s relationship with his mother is ranking on the top of the list, which we may also call, maternal attachment. Infants form an attachment with the mother that must undergo a process of separation and individuation.
W: How do we understand the correlation between separation and individuation?
M: Good question. Object relations psychology examines this relationship, which depends on the ability of the child to separate himself from his object, the mother, and realize that he is a separate individual.
W: All right, then. What are the other factors required to help children realize a sound development of self? Does environment play any role in it?
M: That’s exactly what I am going to talk about next. Absolutely, a safe, loving environment is another necessary component for the development of a healthy self-concept. Certainly, affectionate, caring parents are essential as well. As the child begins to develop his sense of self, he must master certain developmental tasks that are part of growing up.
W: " Developmental tasks" ? That’s a fresh term. Could you present us some concrete examples of such tasks?
M: (2) Developmental tasks may take different forms, such as acquisition of language and toilet training. Anything that interrupts the development of these important skills may interfere with developing a healthy self-concept.
W: What, then, effect does adoption have on the development of a healthy sense of self? Since an infant’s relationship with his mother is so important, according to many psychologists, what effect does being separated from the biological mother have on the adopted child?
M: That depends. For infants adopted at birth, the effect may be minimal, for the infant has often had no opportunity to bond with the biological mother.
W: But what about a child who is older when he is adopted? What effect does adoption have on a toddler?
M: Even if a toddler has been in one foster home since birth and has therefore attached himself to his foster mother, he will likely experience a series of reactions when separated from this caregiver—protest, despair, and detachment—unless his experience is monitored to help him handle the change. Consider a toddler adopted at the age of 18 months who has lived in the same foster home since birth. When he is placed with an adoptive family, (3) he is likely to experience separation anxiety from his foster mother, who can be regarded as symbolically abandoning him as his own biological mother did.
W: It’s sure to say his transition to living an adoptive home may be difficult, isn’t it?
M: Yes, it proves difficult as he adjusts to new surroundings and caregivers because, by the age of 18 months, he has already begun to develop a sense of self in relation to others. On the other hand, he is past the crucial age of 7 to 12 months.
W: Why do you call this period the crucial age?
M: This period is crucial because at his time an infant may sustain the most severe damage to his mental and physical development if deprived of mothering by one significant individual. Now it seems as though he has to start over; his protesting may give way to despair as he yearns for people who used to be in his life.
W: Then it is essential that (4) the adoptive family offer as much affection and security as possible to reassure the child that he is safe, that they are reliable sources of loving care, and that they will help him through this difficult stage.
M: One thing we need to note is sometime a child may continue to suffer from separation anxiety in spite of these actions. Although he may not mind the actual separation" from his mother when he goes to play school or day care, (5) he may become obsessed about the time when his mother is supposed to pick him up at day care or kindergarten; tardiness may provoke fears about car accidents or death.
W: Some psychologists believe that a child who is given more affection is sometimes more strongly attached and therefore more prone to separation anxiety than are some of those who are treated more roughly. Does such statement hold water?
M: That may prove right. Since such "dependence" in the well-loved child is outgrown and later provides the basis for a stable independence, it would be a mistake to suppose it to be pathological. On the contrary, the capacity to experience separation anxiety can be regarded as a sign of the healthy personality.
W: An adopted child, then, has at least an average chance of successful individuation, assuming he is adopted by loving parents. Thank you, Sean, thanks for talking with us.
M: My pleasure.