What does the telegram say?

M: Something very unusual happened to me this morning.
W: Really? What was it?
M: I was studying in the classroom when Tom came rushing in.
W: Yes?
M: He told me there was a telegram for me at the gate house! Someone was ill in my family.
W: Goodness me! I hate telegrams. They seldom bring any good news.
M: Yes, that’ s just how I felt. My legs turned to water, so I asked Tom to accompany me to the school gate.
W: I can imagine how you felt.
M: On my way to the school gate I was thinking terrible things. What could have happened at home, you know, and all that.
W: Yes, of course. I understand.
M: So when I tore the telegram open, my fingers were trembling.
W: Dear me!
M: But when I read the telegram, I just couldn’ t make heads or tails out of it.
W: How strange! What did it say?
M: It said: Return immediately. Uncle seriously ill.
W: Oh, I am sorry to hear that.
M: But the surprising part about it is that I have no uncle.
W: Indeed!
M: I could hardly believe my own eyes. But it was written there in black and white. Then I happened to glance at the address to a "Carl", not "Carol".
W: Well, I never!
M: You can never imagine how relieved I was.
W: Yes. What a relief! But what did Tom have to say?
M: Tom was so embarrassed. He kept apologizing all the way back.
W: He has always been quite careless.