For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a short essay entitled Factors of Success. You should write at least 120 word

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问题 For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a short essay entitled Factors of Success. You should write at least 120 words following the outline given below.
    1. 人人都梦想成功
    2.成功所需的因素很多,如……
    3.我在成功之路上尚需付出的努力

选项

答案 Factors of Success [1]Achieving success is all ideal for almost everyone.[2]However,it does not mean everyone can make it, since it takes effort,time amongst other factors. [3]First of all,painstaking effort is indispensable for anybody who wants to be successful.[4]"No pains,no gains"is the universal truth ac-knowledged by all successful men.[5]Secondly,success always comes along with time.As the saying goes,"Rome was not built in a day";likewise,any wish of becoming successful overnight is nothing more than a fantasy.[6]Besides,there are other important factors leading to success,such as confidence,intelligence,patience,perseverance,to name just a few. [7]As a young man,I am still striving on my way to success.Already aware of the challenges and barriers ahead,I have equipped myself with the most courage and detemfination.

解析  [1][2]提出“成功”这个话题,对应提纲中的第1点,并用However转折,进一步引出作文的关键字:factors。 ideal“理想”是亮点词汇,比dream这类词好:make it“达到,做到”是很地道的表达。amongst相当于among。
[3][5][6]用First of all...Secondly...Besides...全面地阐述了作者的观点,对应提纲中的第2点。
[3]painstaking“辛苦的”,比hard,diligent这些词要高级;indispensable“必不可少的”,为亮点词汇。
[4][5]acknowledged“被承认的;被认可的”,用词准确;引用俗语No pains,No gains增强说服力,下文还有Rome was not built in a day“冰冻三尺非一日之寒”也是亮点。
[5]likewise“同样地”,自然地衔接上下文;用nothing more than表示最高级含义;fantasy“幻想”,为亮点词汇。
[6]perseverance“毅力”;to name just a few表达地道,比etc.要好。
[7]总结全文,表明自己成功的决心,对应提纲中的第3点。equipped oneself with...是亮点表达.注意学习运用。
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