It’s difficult for the experienced parents to decide whether to work or stay with their children.

One of the more difficult decisions for new parents to make is determining whether to return to work or stay at home with the baby. For some, the choice is made for them, as finances warrant the fast road back to work. For others, numerous factors emerge that contribute to the final decision. No matter what the outcome, families are oftentimes plagued with guilt.
    For those able to stay at home, the rewards are many. One of the most important benefits is being able to observe and contribute to the child’s development. Often, parents perceive that the care provided at home is more comprehensive than the standard day care. In addition, the stay-at-home parent has the assurance that the child is being raised in a healthy, positive environment.
    However, staying at home is not always an ideal answer. Delaware mother Jeannette Larock explains that, "Sometimes I feel like I’ve done myself a disservice because I was able to make significant contributions to the company that I worked for". While Jeannette acknowledges that her daughter "has a mom who is devoted to her needs", she also points out that her decision to stay at home continues to be a difficult inner struggle.
    In John Rosemund’s article, "Women Need to Keep Promises, Too", printed in the Marin Independent Journal, the journalist states, "women became persuaded that the mother who paid the most attention to and did the most for her child was the best mother of them all. As a consequence, the mother-child relationship, is more often than not, dominated by the child". While the article does not specifically point fingers, such opinions can create doubts among stay-at-home parents about how their presence will ultimately affect the child.
    But is the working life ideal? During the day, working parents enjoy adult interactions and rewarding careers. Their children may thrive in a daycare environment, learning important social skills. Furthermore, two working parents bring in more income, contributing to the family’s financial success.
    However, the decision to return to work is not without its own baggage. As working parents attest, putting their children into day care for up to ten hours per day can add to the painful sense that they are missing their children’s growing-up years. Hearing about a daughter’s first step, or a son’s new word from a child-care provider can be an anguishing experience. For parents who return to work solely because of financial masons, the guilt can be even more unsettling.
    Some parents have the best, and the worst, of both worlds. They contribute to the family’s financial bottom-line while taking care of their child on a full time basis. Jackie Mygrant, from Arizona, runs a home-based Discovery Toys business. She enjoys being home with her daughter, Kyra, and comments that, "I get to be there for every step of her development. I am in control of her well-being". However, Jackie admits that it can be difficult at times, "putting things off until someone else can watch her, or during her infrequent naps".
    All in all, there is no perfect solution. Parents must acknowledge that they have arrived at the decision by carefully examining the needs and desires of family members. Displaying confidence in the choices you make will only affect children in a positive manner. At the same time, it is vital that parents view other’s decisions with the same kindness and understanding. Everyone is, first and foremost, a loving parent who has the same common goal in mind: to raise spirited, happy, healthy children who will contribute greatly to the world in which they live.