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  3. If you want to teach your children how to say sorry, you must be good at saying it yourself, especially to your own children. Bu

If you want to teach your children how to say sorry, you must be good at saying it yourself, especially to your own children. Bu

admin2015-10-05  36
问题     If you want to teach your children how to say sorry, you must be good at saying it yourself, especially to your own children. But how you say it can be quite tricky.
    If you say to your children "I’m sorry I got angry with you, but ..." what follows that "but" can render the apology ineffective: "I had a bad day" or "your noise was giving me a headache" leaves the person who has been injured feeling that he should be apologizing for his bad behavior in expecting an apology.
    Another method by which people appear to apologize without actually doing so is to say "I’m sorry you’ re upset" : this suggests that you are somehow at fault for allowing yourself to get upset by what the other person has done.
    Then there is the general, all covering apology, which avoids the necessity of identifying a specific act that was particularly hurtful or insulting, and which the person who is apologizing should promise never to do again. Saying "I’m useless as a parent" does not commit a person to any specific improvement.
    These pseudo-apologies are used by people who believe saying sorry shows weakness, Parents who wish to teach their children to apologize should see it as a sign of strength, and therefore not resort to these pseudo-apologies.
    But even when presented with examples of genuine contrition, children still need help to become a ware of the complexities of saying sorry. A three-year-old might need help in understanding that other children feel pain just as he does, and that hitting a playmate over the head with a heavy toy requires an apology. A six-year-old might need reminding that spoiling other children’ s expectations can require an apology. A 12-year-old might need to be shown that raiding the biscuit tin without asking permission is acceptable, but that borrowing a parent’ s clothes without permission is not.
According to the author, saying "I’m sorry you’ re upset" most probably means"______".
选项 A、You have good reason to get upset
B、I’m aware you’ re upset, but I’ m not to blame
C、I apologize for hurting your feelings
D、I’ m at fault for making you upset
答案B
解析 这个句子出现在第三段：Anothermethod by which people appear to apologizewithout actually doing so is to say“I’m sorryyou’re upset”：this suggests that you aresomehow at fault for allowing yourself to get upsetbv what the other person has done。本句的第一句举出“表面道歉实际没有道歉”的另一个例子，即I’m sorry you’re upset。第二句分析了这句话暗含的意思。前半句you are somehowat fault for基本呈现出了主谓宾结构，“你是有错的，因为……”for后面是“你也有错”的原因。原因是Allowing yourself to get upset bywhat the other person has done，“允许你自己变得烦恼，被其他人的所作所为”，与全句联系起来的意思是“因为别人做了某事，你就变得烦恼，对此你自己是有责任的”，言下之意是换个人面对这种事就不会烦恼，你烦恼只能是你的错。C和D的说法都认为错误在到道歉人的一方，可以首先排除。B的说法与上面的分析一致，而A的意思在本句中是无法体现的。
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