首页
外语
计算机
考研
公务员
职业资格
财经
工程
司法
医学
专升本
自考
实用职业技能
登录
外语
The Art of Friendship A)One evening a few years ago I found myself in an anxiety. Nothing was really wrong — my family and I wer
The Art of Friendship A)One evening a few years ago I found myself in an anxiety. Nothing was really wrong — my family and I wer
admin
2015-02-09
74
问题
The Art of Friendship
A)One evening a few years ago I found myself in an anxiety. Nothing was really wrong — my family and I were healthy, my career was busy and successful — I was just feeling vaguely down and in need of a friend who could raise my spirits, someone who would meet me for coffee and let me rant until the clouds lifted. I dialed my best friend, who now lives across the country in California, and got her voicemail. That’s when it started to dawn on me — lonesomeness was at the root of my dreariness. My social life had dwindled to almost nothing, but somehow until that moment I’d been too busy to notice. Now it hit me hard. My old friends, buddies since college or even childhood, knew everything about me; when they left, they had taken my context with them.
B)Research has shown the long-range negative consequences of social isolation on one’s health. But my concerns were more short-term. I needed to feel understood right then in the way that only a girl friend can understand you. I knew it would be wrong to expect my husband to replace my friends: He couldn’t, and even if he could, to whom would I then complain about my husband? So I resolved to acquire new friends — women like me who had kids and enjoyed rolling their eyes at the world a little bit just as I did. Since I’d be making friends with more intention than I’d ever given the process, I realized I could be selective, that I could in effect design my own social life. The downside, of course, was that I felt pretty frightened.
C)After all, it’s a whole lot harder to make friends in midlife than it is when you’re younger — a fact woman I’ve spoken with point out again and again. As Leslie Danzig, 41, a Chicago theater director and mother, sees it, when you’re in your teens and 20s, you’re more or less friends with everyone unless there’s a reason not to be. Your college roommate becomes your best pal at least partly due to proximity. Now there needs to be a reason to be friends. "There are many people I’m comfortable around, but 1 wouldn’t go so far as to call them friends. Comfort isn’t enough to sustain a real friendship," Danzig says.
D)At first, finding new companions felt awkward. At 40 I couldn’t run up to people the way my4-year-old daughters do in the playground and ask, "Will you be my friend?" "Every time you start a new relationship, you’re vulnerable again," agrees Kathleen Hall, D Min, founder and CEO of the Stress Institute, in Atlanta. "You’re asking, ’Would you like to come into my life?’ It makes us self-conscious."
E)Fortunately, my discomfort soon passed. I realized that as a mature friend seeker my vulnerability risk was actually pretty low. If someone didn’t take me up on my offer, so what: I wasn’t in junior high, when I might have been rejected for having the wrong clothes or hair. At my age I have amassed enough self-esteem to realize that I have plenty to offer.
F)We’re all so busy, in fact, that mutual interests — say, in a project, class, or cause that we already make time for — become the perfect catalysts for bringing us in contact with candidates for camaraderie. Michelle Mertes, 35, a teacher and mother of two in Wausau, Wisconsin, says anew friend she made at church came as a pleasant surprise. "In high school I chose friends based on their popularity and how being part of their circle might reflect on me. Now’s it’s our shared values and activities that count." Mertes says her pal, with whom she organized the church’s youth programs, is nothing like her but their drive and organizational skills make them ideal friends.
G)Happily, as awkward as making new friends can be, self-esteem issues do not factor in — or if they do, you can easily put them into perspective. Danzig tells of the mother of a child in her son’s preschool, a tall, beautiful woman who is married to a big-deal rock musician. "I said to my husband, ’she’s too cool for me,’" she jokes. "I get intimidated by people. But once I got to know her, she turned out to be pretty laid-back and friendly." In the end there was no chemistry between them, so they didn’t become good pals. "I realized that we weren’t each other’s type, but it wasn’t about hierarchy." What midlife friendship is about, it seems, is reflecting the person you’ve become(or are still becoming)back at yourself, thus reinforcing the progress you’ve made in your life.
H)Harlene Katzman, 41, a lawyer in New York City, notes that her oldest friends knew her back when she was less sure of herself. As much as she loves them, she believes they sometimes respond to issues in light of who she once was. An old chum has the goods on you. With recently made friends, you can turn over a new leaf.
I)A new friend, chosen right, can also help you point your boat in the direction you want to go. Hanna Dershowitz, 39, an attorney and mother in Los Angeles, found that a new acquaintance from work was exactly what she needed in a friend. In addition to liking and respecting Julia, Dershowitz had a feeling that the fit and athletic younger woman would help her to get in shape.
J)While you’re busy making new friends, remember that you still need to nurture your old ones. We asked Maria Paul, author of The Friendship Crisis: Finding, Making, and Keeping Friends When You’re Not a Kid Anymore, for the best ways to maintain these important relationships. Keep in touch. Your friends should be a priority; schedule regular lunch dates or coffee catch-up sessions, no matter how busy you are. Know her business. Keep track of important events in a friend’s life and show your support. Call or e-mail to let her know you’re thinking of her. Speak your mind. Tell a friend(politely)if something she did really upset you. If you can’t be totally honest, then you need to reexamine the relationship. Accept her flaws. No one is perfect, so work around her quirks — she’s chronically late, or she’s a bit negative -— to cut down on frustration and fights. Boost her ego. Heartfelt compliments make everyone feel great, so tell her how much you love her new sweater or what a great job she did on a work project.
As a mature friend seeker, the author finds herself with enough confidence to offer and take rejection with grace.
选项
答案
E
解析
转载请注明原文地址:https://kaotiyun.com/show/vdq7777K
0
大学英语四级
相关试题推荐
FreeSchoolMealsA)MillionsofAmericanschoolchildrenarereceivingfreeorlow-costmealsforthefirsttimeastheirparents
FreeSchoolMealsA)MillionsofAmericanschoolchildrenarereceivingfreeorlow-costmealsforthefirsttimeastheirparents
FreeSchoolMealsA)MillionsofAmericanschoolchildrenarereceivingfreeorlow-costmealsforthefirsttimeastheirparents
FreeSchoolMealsA)MillionsofAmericanschoolchildrenarereceivingfreeorlow-costmealsforthefirsttimeastheirparents
A、Howtoexpressopinionsandmakedecisions.B、Howtorespectothermembersinthefamily.C、Howtospeakforthemselvesinam
A、Theycantakeataxitothestation.B、Theycanreturntothestationtomorrow.C、Theycangethomethisevening.D、Theycane
A、Manychildrensuffergreatlyfrombraininjury.B、Manychildrenarethreatenedbyunderlyingcancer.C、Childrensuffermorefr
Acircleofclosefriendsandstrongfamilytiescanincreaseaperson’shealthmorethanexercise,losingweightorquittingci
Whenaconsumerfindsthatanitemsheorheboughtisfaultyordoesnot【B1】______themanufacturer’sclaimforit,thefirstst
Whenaconsumerfindsthatanitemsheorheboughtisfaultyordoesnot【B1】______themanufacturer’sclaimforit,thefirstst
随机试题
A、Cancelsaroom.B、Reservesaroom.C、Confirmshisreservation.D、Tellsthereceptionisthewantstoreservearoom.C本题是对细节进行提
________.
工程档案的归档时间,可由项目法人根据实际情况确定。可分阶段在单位工程或单项工程完工后向项目法人归档,也可在主体工程全部完工后向项目法人归档。整个项目的归档工作和项目法人向有关单位的档案移交工作,应在工程竣工验收后()个月内完成。
变造会计凭证的行为,是指以虚假的经济业务或者资金往来为前提,编造虚假的会计凭证的行为。()
当社会总需求不足时,应使用紧缩性财政政策,通过减少赤字、增加公开市场上出售国债的数量、减少财政补贴,来压缩社会总供给。()
作答要求针对给定材料,分析老百姓“老不信”的原因,以“破除信任危机重塑公众信心”为题写一篇策论文。要求:全面深刻,文笔顺畅,条理清晰,对策切实可行。1000~1200字,60分。给定材料政府表态,不信;专家解释,
【2014年威海市真题】某美国学者提出一种新的教学组织形式。试图把大班、小班和个人三种教学形式结合起来。实行大班上课、小班研究和个别教学,其教学时间分配为大班上课占40%,小班研究占20%,个别教学占40%。这种教学组织形式是()。
某公司拟租赁一间厂房,期限是10年,假设年利率是10%,出租方提出以下几种付款方案:(1)立即付全部款项共计20万元;(2)从第4年开始每年年初付款4万元,至第10年年初结束;(3)第1到8年每年年末支付3万元,第9年年末支付
经济二次触底
Whatdidthewomandoinherfirstjob?
最新回复
(
0
)