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  3. If you want to teach your children how to say sorry, you must be good at saying it yourself, especially to your own children. Bu

If you want to teach your children how to say sorry, you must be good at saying it yourself, especially to your own children. Bu

admin2015-10-05  57
问题     If you want to teach your children how to say sorry, you must be good at saying it yourself, especially to your own children. But how you say it can be quite tricky.
    If you say to your children "I’m sorry I got angry with you, but ..." what follows that "but" can render the apology ineffective: "I had a bad day" or "your noise was giving me a headache" leaves the person who has been injured feeling that he should be apologizing for his bad behavior in expecting an apology.
    Another method by which people appear to apologize without actually doing so is to say "I’m sorry you’ re upset" : this suggests that you are somehow at fault for allowing yourself to get upset by what the other person has done.
    Then there is the general, all covering apology, which avoids the necessity of identifying a specific act that was particularly hurtful or insulting, and which the person who is apologizing should promise never to do again. Saying "I’m useless as a parent" does not commit a person to any specific improvement.
    These pseudo-apologies are used by people who believe saying sorry shows weakness, Parents who wish to teach their children to apologize should see it as a sign of strength, and therefore not resort to these pseudo-apologies.
    But even when presented with examples of genuine contrition, children still need help to become a ware of the complexities of saying sorry. A three-year-old might need help in understanding that other children feel pain just as he does, and that hitting a playmate over the head with a heavy toy requires an apology. A six-year-old might need reminding that spoiling other children’ s expectations can require an apology. A 12-year-old might need to be shown that raiding the biscuit tin without asking permission is acceptable, but that borrowing a parent’ s clothes without permission is not.
It is not advisable to use the general, all-covering apology because______.
选项 A、it gets one into the habit of making empty promises
B、it may make the other person feel guilty
C、it is vague and ineffective
D、it is hurtful and insulting
答案C
解析 文章第四段谈到了这个问题。第四段的段意分为两个部分，第一部分是个结构复杂的长句，用两个which引导的从句举出空泛道歉的两种例子。第一个例子是并不说明自己的哪一行为带有伤害或侮辱对方的意思(由此可知D的 理解是错误的)；第二个例子是只笼统说自己再也不会这样了，也就是不具体指出到底不会怎么样了(由此可知A的理解是错误的)。第四段的第二部分道出空泛的道歉之所以不明智是因为它doesnot commit a person to any specific improvement．即“并不能使人做出具体的改进”，也就是说道歉过于空泛，使人不知道该在哪里改进，也就谈不上改进。C的说法含有这个意思。
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