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  3. All couples have problems and disagreements，so it’s critical that they learn how tocommunicate about them in a way that will be

All couples have problems and disagreements，so it’s critical that they learn how tocommunicate about them in a way that will be

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问题 All couples have problems and disagreements，so it’s critical that they learn how tocommunicate about them in a way that will be helpful instead of making them worse．I do notbelieve that prescribing specific techniques for communicating is as helpful as focusing on the coreattitudes behind the communication．My thoughts on effectively communicating about ANY difficultissue are in keeping with the ideas I used in the“assertiveness training”I did back in the 70s．
What I learned was that I could tell people the“correct”words to use and“correct”body language．et@C@to be“assertive”--but none of it worked unless it eame from“inside”the person．
In other words，your ability to communicate has more to do with your attitudes and beliefsabout your“right to know”and the degree of“equality”in the relationship，or lack there of and thedegree of“caring”involved between the two people than in whatever actual words or techniquesyou use．All these things are FAR more important than the“skills”．You can“t just”put on theskills like a coat  and have them work．As I said，the words need to come as an outgrowth Of anattitude of genuinely wanting to effectively work on whatever problem is being discusse@D@
Another similarity between learning how to effectively discuss a problem and how people learnto talk in an assertive manner is that even if you say everything“just right”(in accordance with theguidelines for using good communication skills)，there is no guarantee that the other person willreceive it in the way it is intende@D@For instance，with assertiveness，someone could perfectlyexecute an“assertive”conversation and still have it be interpreted as being“aggressive”．
One way of determining the specific words that are more likely to be effective is to think interms of the“ego states”as defined by transactional analysis：“parent,adult,and child”．You’llhave more likelihood of success by approaching the discussion from an“adult”．problem-solvingway of talking．while avoiding using the“judgmental”words of a“parent”or the“hurt feelings”words of a“child”．The bottom line is that you don’t need specific communication skills so muchas you need to approach any conversation with a certain attitude：that the clear goal is to“improvethe relationship“rather than to just”criticize“and／or”change”the other person．With that spirit，you have a better chance of success；without it，all the communication skills in the world won’t beenough．
The best title of the passage would be______．
选项 A、Assertiveness Training
B、Effectively Communicating about Problems
C、Good Communication Skills
D、How  to  Solve Problems
答案B
解析 主旨题。本文主要讨论了如何通过有效的沟通解决夫妻间的问题，只有选项B符合这一主旨并可涵盖全文内容。选项A的意思是“肯定式谈话训练”，文中确实提到了，但却不是本文的主题，属于范围“太小”；而选项C和D则又相对于本文的主题而言范围“太大”，均超出了本文的主题。
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