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  3. Respect is not included in the marriage vows. No illustrated books show how to achieve it. And yet it is central to a lasting, s

Respect is not included in the marriage vows. No illustrated books show how to achieve it. And yet it is central to a lasting, s

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问题     Respect is not included in the marriage vows. No illustrated books show how to achieve it. And yet it is central to a lasting, satisfying marriage.
    What is this thing called respect? It is not the same as admiration. "When you fall in love, you admire the other." says Dr. Alexander Symonds, associate clinical professor of psychiatry" at the New York University School of Medicine, "You look up to someone—much the way a child idealizes a parent".
    Such romantic admiration thrives and even depends on the illusion that he or she is "perfect for you." That’s why it doesn’t last. You come to see that the person you married isn’t exactly what you expected," says Francine Gaborone, "There are differences of personality, of approaches to life, different ways of doing things".
    You can try to change your mate back into your fantasy. But for the marriage to last and grow it’s better to agree to disagree, to learn to let each other be. Only by taking this path can you begin to develop real respect toward each other.
    "I have one patient whose husband loves sports, especially tennis," says Dr. Symonds. "She would prefer to go to the theatre, or to stay at home and read. She could simply say, ’We have different tastes.’ Instead, she says, ’ How can he waste his time and money that way? ’ She puts him down."
    The put-down is the chief symptom—and weapon—of lack of respect, or contempt. "Contempt is the worst kind of emotion." says Symonds. "You feel the other person has no worth."
    We’ve all seen marriages in which one or both partners attack the other quite savagely in the guise of "It’s for your own good." Any "good" is undone by the hostile tone. A wife nags her husband to be more ambitious and makes him feel like a failure because he prefers craftsmanship or community projects to the competitive business world. Or a husband accuses his wife of wasting time whenever she gets together with a friend: "Why isn’t she doing something productive?
    In good marriage partners nurture each other’s self-esteem. They may experience humorous incomprehension of one another’s preferences, but they never make their loved person feel like an idiot. "Marty’s idea of a vacation is to go down to basement on a sunny day and spend time woodworking ," says Dr. Alexander Symonds of her husband, psychiatrist and surgeon Martin Symonds.
    But there’ s fondness in the gibes and firm support for the other’ s right to be himself. Respect is expressed in words like, "Sure, I’ll come with you. Just don’t be mad if I fall asleep."
    That’ s the paradox of a good marriage: only by respecting each other as you are do you open the door to change. The root meaning of the word respect is "to look at". Respect is a clear yet loving eye. It sees what is there, but it also sees what is potentially there and helps bring it to fruition. Respect is the art of love by which married couples honor what is unique and best in each other.
According to the author, which of the following is the most harmful to a marriage?
选项 A、Admiration of your partner.
B、Idealization of your partner.
C、Contempt of your partner.
D、Disillusion of your partner.
答案C
解析 根据文章第六段第二句“Contempt is the worst kind of emotion”可知，轻视伴侣对婚姻是最有害的。
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